Are You Spending The Holidays 🎄With Your Inlaws?🤷🏾‍♀️ Here are a few tips to surviving it:

Where are you spending the holidays?

Do you like the people you will be spending it with🤦🏾‍♀️

If you’re married like me, then you have to worry about you know…the in-laws…😳

Now, lucky for me both sets of my in-laws live in Texas and my husband’s real mother hates me 🤪🤷🏾‍♀️, but my step-mother-in-law loves me to pieces…

Either way, guess what I don’t have to spend any time with them this year…whewwww! The pressure is off, but since you have to here are a few tips on surviving this holiday season without causing any damage to your relationships…😁👇🏾

Many families of all ages feel intense stress as they approach the holiday season. They know someone’s feelings will inevitably be hurt. They are stretched to spend time with both sides of their family or end up feeling guilty they can’t be everywhere. Then there’s the stress of spending time with someone you don’t necessarily get along with.

Some families use every combination possible to make their extended family happy. Christmas morning at home, Lunch at noon at her mom’s house, late evening at his dad’s house. Then throw in divorced and blended family dynamics and the day became even fuller. It can often mean spending only a few minutes at any one place.

The holiday season is the perfect time to reconsider how you want to be with extended family, particularly your in-laws. The holiday season is a time for creating your own traditions while setting boundaries with your in-laws. It’s time to determine what you want and how you want to spend your holiday.

Give these 7 tips a try and see how your family gathering becomes memorable instead of wretched:

Communicate

It’s important to communicate your wishes in a way that doesn’t make them feel like you don’t care. Communicate in advance what you want. Ask them what their preferences are as well. Then work on creating a plan that works for all of you.

Find neutral ground

If the stress comes from going to one family’s house instead of the other’s home, invite everyone to a beach house, rented cabin or someplace you can all enjoy that no one owns the space.

Get them involved

Invite them to join in what’s happening throughout the day. Include your mother-in-law in the meal prep or your daughter-in-law in the gift wrapping. Have your father-in-law read the Christmas story or another family favorite story. Try to make them feel comfortable and welcome. If you’re going to their house, ask if you can help them in some way. Give your mother-in-law compliments, talk to your father-in-law about topics that mean something to him.

It’s not personal

Often the tension we feel from out in-laws at this time of year comes from their being stressed as well. This type of stress can make that seemingly harmless bad behavior to become even more exaggerated. It’s more about their insecurities than it is about you, so try to leave the defensive mode at home.

Look on the humorous side

It’s much easier to laugh at what your in-law says or does than to spend the holidays tense and on edge. Search hard to find the humor in situations that might otherwise make you feel criticized or left out. Humor helps you stay calm at the time and keeps some of the tension from exploding into a full-blown breakdown.

Plan an exit strategy

When you visit your in-law’s house, have an agreed amount of time you will stay. If it’s a matter of one of you want to stay longer, you may have to arrive in two cars. Let the family know one of you need to leave at a certain time for whatever reason.

Have some downtime

Find a quiet time for yourself during the hectic holiday season. You need to re-energize. Or if you are staying at your in-laws, you may need to find a little quiet time to catch your breath or get away from them. 🙌🏾

End Goals On Relieving Holiday Stress

The goal is to make progress on having a less stressed holiday with your in-laws. There won’t be perfection. It’s a matter of building a relationship with the family that will grow with time. With a little effort on your part, and hopefully, theirs too, you could end up having one of the calmest holidays you’ve ever had.

Best Wishes Friends….🎄

𝓞𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓪 𝓑. 𝓢𝓱𝓮𝓹𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓭

Life Empowerment Mentor/ Transformation Coach

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“Secrets of a Positive Attitude”


Greetings Friends,

Are you constantly bombarded by thoughts of negativity? Plagued by feelings of insecurity? Do you see everything in a negative manner? The reason for this lies deep within your heart. You are what you mentally and spiritually eat. If a person drinks alcohol on a daily basis, odds are their body will be affected in some way. They may have liver issues, develop cancer or incur some other type of health problem directly related to the amount of alcohol they have consumed. In the same way, a person who constantly feeds themselves negative thoughts will simply turn into a negative person.

This is the time to go on a diet. A diet of positive attitude food. You have to literally stop feeding your mind negative things. Ask yourself is this thought negative or positive or negative? What do negative thoughts look like? Well, they start with can’t rather than can, no as opposed to yes, will and not won’t. The Bible which is the greatest self-help book ever written, speaks about taking every thought captive. The problem in our society has become that our thoughts have taken us captive. We have begun to let our thoughts control us.

A great way to know what we are negative about is to ask those people who are closest to us. You can ask your spouse
or another person in your life who really knows you how they would rate your attitude on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being super positive and 1 super negative. Ask this person to be totally honest with you. You will benefit from their honesty even if it causes you pain. Ask this person what it is that you specifically say that they perceive as negative. Write down what they say and look at the actual words. Now is the time to be honest with yourself. Those words are a reflection of what is inside you. They are who you are. The great thing is that you can change. It is as simple as making a choice to do so. You must decide to replace the thoughts of negativity with thoughts of positivity. Decide what words you will change the negative words on your paper. Once you have done this, make an effort to insert these new positive thoughts in your mind. You will begin to notice a positive change taking place in your life. Your family, friends, and co-workers will all notice it as well. They may not know what is different about you. But they will know that you are not the same person that you were.

The items which are causing negativity in your life could very well be the news, movies, constantly replaying tragedy in your mind and the list could go on. These things should be eliminated if you want your new mental health regimen to be a success. The news is very negative and does not help someone who is trying to rid their mind of such thoughts. When you are feeding yourself thoughts of death from a war or gunshot or car accident visually the outcome will be negative. I do believe there is a time to grieve over the death of a loved one. However, if a person constantly replays this negative event in their minds it can lead to depression. The person who has passed away is not coming back and we must close that chapter in our lives and move on to the next chapter. This is a difficult task that can only be done by making a decision to proceed with our own life, no matter how hard this may be.

You can do it. You can and will have a positive attitude if you simply take the steps outlined above. You do not have to be what you were in the past. You can be different in the future. The choice is yours. I know you will make a positive one.

Much continued positive attitude success,

Olivia B. Shepherd💋
𝓛𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝓔𝓶𝓹𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓜𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓸𝓻
𝓣𝓻𝓪𝓷𝓼𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓒𝓸𝓪𝓬𝓱

*Don’t forget to check out my latest podcast🎙:

Thursday Thoughts…What If You Dared To Be Yourself…💞

Do you always wish you were someone else?🤷🏾‍♀️ Do you ever wish you could live someone else’s life???

I know those of us who suffer from mental illness hhave these thoughts all the time, but what if you dared to be You and only You?????? 

There’s no need for you to imitate anybody else; they already exist. Do you want to be just like your colleague? If the Creator wanted two identical colleagues, then He would have created a copy of the first. If the Creator needed another person just like your neighbor, then He would have immediately created two of them. He never cloned somebody, so why would you? Every snowflake is different. Creation is not duplication.Repeat that….Instead of copying an existing model, He created a whole new YOU! Why? Because He needs you to be just the way you are! Why bother and try to be somebody else?Don’t imitate others. Observe them, learn from them, but don’t try to be like them. Learn their skills but then implement them in your own life and move forward on your own road. Because you are walking your own road, you cannot follow the footsteps of somebody else, nor can someone else walk your road for you. They have their road, you have yours.Why did the Creator give all of us different fingerprints, different ears, different noses? Wouldn’t it have been much easier for Him to make all of us out of a single mold? One model; no differences, no comparisons. He could have done it, but He didn’t. Why not? Apparently He needs us to be individual. He needs us to be different. Certainly this fact adds to the pleasure of the game. If all the characters in the play were alike, then it wouldn’t be much fun to watch. He surely likes us all to be different. And He surely needs us all to be different!Given the undisputed fact that we are all different, why would you try to be like somebody else? Why change your looks or your body with plastic surgery? Why not be happy with the way you are? I’m not just talking about appearance, but also about talents. Character. Everybody is unique. While longing for talents you don’t have, you are neglecting those talents that you do have. This is rather counter-productive, no? You have been gifted with a unique set of talents, so find out what they are and develop them.There is no coincidence. Everything in the universe exists for a reason. You are not talented by accident! Neither is it haphazard that you don’t have some talents you would like to have.
If you don’t have a nightingale voice, you were not meant to sing. You can do something else with your life according to the talents you do have, and leave the singing to someone who is naturally equipped for that. If you have no acting talents, you should not act. If you weigh too much, you’d better start dreaming about something else than being a fashion model.Another undisputed fact is that everybody is gifted with his or her own unique talents. Make no mistake! Talents are not only about activities like singing, acting, dancing, painting, writing or excellence in sports. Your unique talent could be your spontaneity, your enthusiasm, your connection with animals, caring for the disabled, your generosity, being a good teacher or public speaker, being a loving community member, or being a good problem solver. It could be your capacity to love, your natural joy, your brilliance, intelligence, easily assimilating new languages, radiating beauty, having a funny way of expressing yourself, making others laugh, kindness, tenderness, and many more. The list of possible talents is very, very long indeed…so dare to be you my dear!!!!! Just think of how wonderful it would be!!!😘Have an amazing day friends…𝓞𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓪 𝓑. 𝓢𝓱𝓮𝓹𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓭Life Empowerment Mentor/Transformation Coach”Helping women like myself who suffer from depression…build their confidence up in life, businesses, and relationships! Helping them find that inner strength to overcome their illness”

Searching For Happiness…Stop looking in your neighbors yard 🤔

Happy Thursday friends...are you 
looking for happiness in the wrong places...

Check out this post🙂

We’ve all heard the cliché ‘The grass is always greener in our neighbor’s yard’. What they don’t tell you is that his grass still has to be mowed, watered, weeded, raked and fertilized.

The Buddha was the first to recognize that emotional pain can be just as real and debilitating as physical pain. Through careful observation he determined that people were good at spending time on their physical hygiene, but spent little or no time on mental hygiene. He believed that the key to finding happiness was in relieving one’s emotional suffering and that the best way to reduce this suffering was by controlling our emotions.

Just as a good mother watches where her children go, the wise man watches where his mind goes. One of the harmful emotions that the Buddha taught we need to watch is envy.

Envy is time spent wanting what our neighbor has instead of time spent enjoying what we have. Now it’s true that when used properly envy can be a terrific motivator. The problem is that real envy — always wanting more and then discovering that more still isn’t enough — is difficult to control.

The Buddha taught that the way to achieve happiness begins with turning negative thoughts in to positive ones. The successful landscaper knows that for his lawn to thrive it needs to be weeded and fertilized. The person seeking happiness can begin by following his example and weeding out any negative thoughts and then planting positive ones.

Many people believe that happiness is just a winning lottery ticket away, but true happiness is not based on how much we have, but on how little we need. Happiness is accepting, appreciating and enjoying what the world has to offer. True happiness can only be achieved if we spend more time weeding out envious thoughts rather than in trying to match or better our neighbor’s lawn.

Just because an elephant is the biggest doesn’t mean he’s also the best animal in the jungle.

Sometimes it is as simple as taking the time to look back at how far you’ve come instead of always looking ahead to where you want to be. When was the last time you took a moment to pat yourself on the back for the things you have accomplished?

Besides, maybe your neighbor works harder at his yard than you do, or maybe he’s just luckier. Is matching or bettering your neighbor’s accomplishments really that important? We all get to choose how we spend our time.

Stop looking at your neighbor’s yard and start enjoying your own, that’s what it’s there for. Weed out the envy and you’ll find your whole outlook improving.

Have an amazing day, try looking to yourself for the best way to love and treat yourself with respect 🥰

𝓛𝓪𝓭𝔂 ‘𝓞’

Thursday Thoughts….Positive Thinking☺️

#thursdaythoughts

To have positive results you have to have a positive attitude, there is no way that a negative person will achieve positive results. Acting positive gives you hope for a better outcome, you cannot underestimate the power of positive thinking.

Having a positive attitude eliminates all the feelings of self-pity that will cause you to stop trying in whatever thing you are trying to achieve. Acting positive whilst in competition with other people is an intimidation to your fellow competitors whether it is in school, in class or even just your local weight loss challenge in your neighborhood.

When you always act in a certain way for a long period of time that action starts to embed in your personality, what needed a lot of effort in doing will turn out to become a reflex action that comes naturally.

Always attempting to be positive may be difficult at first because that small internal voice will be telling you that you cannot do it but the more you stick to having a positive attitude and being positive even in negative circumstances it will get easier and it will eventually become part of your personality.

Most people mostly feel negative early in the morning as soon as they wake up and realize they have a long hectic day ahead of them, they automatically feel challenged and helpless that is the perfect moment to incorporate your positive attitude.

Each morning you wake and assure yourself that it will be a good day and that you have total control over your happiness. You might not have control over what happens throughout the day but you have control over your reaction to what will happen.

Although your day may not turn out to be what you had wished for instead of becoming annoyed or even angry with yourself and feeling like you failed you just relax and know that there is another opportunity to try again tomorrow, incorporating these positive changes in your life every day and controlling the way you react to every situation around you may at first be just an act of being positive but after sometime you will realize that you are not acting anymore but you actually always keep a positive attitude.

And don’t forget positive affirmations:

Quick Ways To Build Your Self Confidence….

#thursdaythoughts

👉🏾 The very first step is to accept yourself – lovingly. No person in the world in perfect so why bother to shed tears over your imperfectness. This is how God wanted us to be – Imperfect! We might have something that someone else may lack and someone else might be endowed with the qualities, which we lack. This incompleteness makes us go out and seek companions who make us feel loved, wanted and complete. Oh what a great feeling! Would we experience it if we were inside the cocoon of our perfection? Never! So accept yourself the way you are. It will free your mind of a heavy baggage of unnecessary worries. You will instantly feel light and cheerful.

👉🏾 🙌🏾Liberate yourself – Go out and do what you like! – How long it has been since you last went to have a walk among the pines – something that you loved as a child? How long has it been when you walked hand in hand with your friend to the bakery and tossed a coin to decide what to buy? These might seem very simple things but these simple things have the power to add on to build great confidence and fulfilment. Life if see is actually quite simple. What gets a bit too complex though is to remain simple. Isn’t it? Just as small drops of water make the mighty ocean, the little things you enjoy doing have the capability to turn you into a storehouse of confidence. When God made you, He put a desire in your heart and bestowed onto you the capability to achieve it. However, in the process of growing up, you forgot what exactly your purpose was, what is that you liked and what is that you enjoyed doing. It does happen with lots and lots of people who do feel like breaking free but are too tied up in their day to day responsibilities that it gets impossible for them to spare even 10 minutes to reflect on their lives, their direction, their dreams and goals. It’s our duty to clear the mess that prevents us from hearing to our heart. The conversations with your heart should keep getting clearer and the best way to do it is to find time to do what you enjoy. And since you enjoy doing that activity, it straightaway means that you have all the aptitude and intelligence necessary to do the job effortlessly even though you may not realize it.

👉🏾💪🏾Find your flock – Birds of a feather flock together. You must find out people with whom you enjoy being. They are certainly the people of your frequency and the energy flow between you and them is natural. Life becomes easy when you are among the people who are more or less on the same plane of thought as you and it’s easier to relate to them. They seem to understand you and vice versa thus creating conditions for healthy conversations. A good conversation is a very healthy exercise and an important need of our mind. We all want our ideas to be heard and appreciated and a good company provides platform for the same.

👉🏾👏🏾Set Achievable Goals and Go for it! – The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The idea is to begin with a small single step that can then further developed into giant strides. Learn to do the work at hand rather than to overwhelm oneself by looking at the entirety of a mammoth looking task. Just like the soil underneath your foot, the top of mountain too would someday be under your step. The only way to do something is to GO FOR IT! No matter how small the progress is the focus should be on completing a task successfully even though it’s a small task. A series of big uncompleted task is a sure shot way to depression. Break a big task into a list of small tasks to be completed. Tick off from your list each job successfully completed. A completed task no matter how small it is gives a sense of achievement that boosts our confidence and equips us with more energy to try a bigger task.

Lady ‘O’💓

𝓛𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝓔𝓶𝓹𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓜𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓸𝓻

#Upgradeyourstandards

#2019upgradeyourstandards

😀Good morning lady Warriors, as we go about our day remember we attract what we put out!

Watch out for the people who show jealousy, selfishness, passive aggression, dishonesty, or narcissism. Such people are energy vampires. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Have an amazing day,

Olivia

Self Awareness, #thursdaythoughts

#selfawareness

#thursdaythoughts

🔅I strongly encourage you to stop ignoring those feelings you have because they’ll never truly go away. Instead, start exploring them through a practice of self-awareness.

🔅At the very least you will learn more about yourself and how you can live in closer alignment with who you really are.

Have a great day☺️