Hoping For a Better Day!

Good morning world, I have said my prayers, walked the pup and up and ready to start this day! I’m hoping that God goes before me and make all the crooked places straight, hoping the mechanic doesn’t lie about my truck  just to scam money out me! I will continue working on my book today and let nothing distract me! I will try to stay up during my nap time and get something done in the place of that. So I have a lot to do today, hoping and praying for some motivation! Stay tuned…………..:)wp-1471260201207.jpg

Well that didn’t last long!!!

Well my mood is real stank right about now, so I tried to get motivated today but failed miserably ended up getting back in bed and didn’t wake back up until 230! I didn’t accomplish anything on that damn list I created, my truck was in the shop, only to pick it up and have them tell me “it’s nothing wrong” but then it starts to smoke from the inside as soon as I pulled up to the drive-in. I’m currently taking care of my dad who had a stroke and today some lady from VA calls and upsets us both. And if that isn’t enough to make you take a pill, I still haven’t my damn account is in the negative because I forgot about a damn bill! Good Grief………I need several drinks and a cigar along with a vacation to a faraway place. My anxiety level is up, my head hurts and as much as I try I just can’t function most days. And it gets harder and harder to keep pretending I’m ok because I’m not, and I think my friends are sort of tired of me complaining so I have just decided to say nothing and write about here. Well that I’m going to be motivated thing didn’t last long at all, lol and it’s only Tuesday. I have to laugh to keep from crying because I feel so bad inside!  I just think anybody gets it, just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Admitting that I’m suffering is so hard but all I really wish is for my life to return to normal. Life isn’t suppose to be this bad! Should it? Stay Tuned……………..

Tuesday! No Motivation Yet!

So on yesterday I wrote out what I was going to try to accomplish this week and sadly I have to say nothing happened! I take care of my father who had a stroke about 2 years ago, so I spent most of the day there and when I got home all ramped up to hit my computer, I crashed!! Again no Motivation at all! I like to think I’m coping better since they up my meds, but it’s just not true. I feel like a college kid who was just thrown into the world to figure out life yourself.  But I’m not a college kid , I’m almost 40 years old and can’t seem to figure out what I want to do with this part of my life. Depression sinks in and then I get so distracted from my purpose of being on this earth, again I ask  God what He sees in me that I can’t see.? I shouldn’t be this confused but I really am, thank God my son is stationed in Texas he doesn’t have to see the mess I’m in now.  The feeling of not wanting to do any thing has been clouding my mind for the last couple of days and I hate it. I hate that it looks like I’m being lazy but that’s far from the truth! I have been feeling consistently unmotivated for more days than I like, and I feel like crap!  Haven’t been able to look in the mirror and feel fabulous like I use to do, no mojo to even look like the Diva I so use to love. My brain hurts from trying to figure out what to do next! Trying to explain to everybody that I’m having such a productive day but I’m not! Oh well I know God woke my up for some reason I just can’t understand Why? So I’m going to end it here and try to get something done on my list……….stay tuned! 

 

 

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