Many of us fail to care for ourselves the way we should. Part of this is down to a lack of consideration for the way we treat ourselves – perhaps self-care simply isn’t something you’ve considered in the past.
But part of it is also down to your sense of commitment to others. That is to say that we often put ourselves second, simply because we put everyone else first.
And this is perhaps most apparent in our inability to say “no.” How many times have you been invited to an event that you don’t have time or energy for, only to accept simply because you don’t want to let that person down?
Learning to say “no” is therefore one of the most important things you can do if you want to be happier with yourself, and if you want to protect your mental health.
Here’s how to do it.
Tip 1️⃣ Do it right away
Too often we will put off the act of saying no, because we can’t bare to do it! This of course only makes it more of a shock to people when we tell them. Not only that, but it then hangs over us. So just bite the bullet and tell them!
Oh and don’t say ‘maybe’ only to then change your mind. THIS is what makes people think you are ‘flaky’ – not the act of saying no itself.
Tip 2️⃣ Don’t make excuses
Do you want to come out tonight?
No sorry, my family are visiting, and also I have a cold, and also I have no money.
No one buys these excuses, and it makes people think you don’t want to spend time with them. Just saying ‘no’ because you need some time to yourself is perfectly fine. What’s more, is that if you and your friends can be honest with each other and not place pressure on one another, then you can improve your relationships.
Tip 3️⃣ Don’t fret about it🤷🏽♀️
Many of us don’t want to say no, because we fear that we’ll never be invited out again, or because we think we’ll hurt someone’s feelings. In truth, the other person will likely think nothing of it! So, don’t worry about it.
And if you ARE worried, then you can always just invite them out for coffee or drinks next time. That shows you’re interested, so no harm was done!
There you have quick simple tips to saying ”No” and setting boundaries without feeling guilty!!!
Will you say ”No” today???
Olivia B. Shepherd ❣️
Transformation Coach / Mentor
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