Why I Can’t, But I Want To!!

So it’s about 6:50 in the morning, I’ve been up since about 3! I went to bed about 7 yesterday, hell actually I’ve been in and out of bed all day. I played hookie from work, because I just couldn’t get my butt out of bed. My body was achy, I felt dizzy, and my mind seemed so cloudy. Well I managed to go over to dads and take his blood pressure, but I literally felt like I was about to pass out. I’m so damn drained, I think I may be dehydrated again. This will make almost the 5th time this year that I would need fluids. I finally made it back home, only to put back on my pjs and off to sleep I went. I got nothing done, nothing at all. After waking up near late afternoon, I decided to do a little cleaning. I pump myself up, “I’m going to finish my projects “. Well that didn’t go so well. I just sat my ass back down and sipped on a beer. Still I got nothing done. A couple hours go by and I’m back in my bed for the rest of the Friday, getting nothing done. So why can’t I? Why can’t I get my ass up, go to my office and get some shit done? In my mind I have and want to accomplish so much, but I can’t . I know I should, but I can’t. This then makes me feel guilty, worthless, and lazy. I just can’t move, I’m constantly tired. I keep putting things off. Then I sit around and wonder why everyone else is doing better off than me. Depression is ruining my life, I take steps forward, only to fall back. Well I’m going to see what today holds, I’m still laying in bed now. I really plan on getting up and make myself be productive. Hmm…we’ll see! Chat soon..

Ms. Fran


Published by Olivia B. Shepherd

Welcome, My name is Olivia Shepherd, and I am the founder of this awesome blog about depression and mental illness. I started this blog in 2016 after being diagnosed with Major Depression, Anxiety and PTSD. I didn't have anybody to talk too or share my feelings with, so I decided to share them publicly to help others. I'm passionate and dedicated to bringing awareness about mental health, especially in the African American community. I also want to empower your voice to speak up and fight the stigma surrounding this illness. Iโ€™m also the founder of AshesToBeauty Mentoring & Outreach, a virtual online service dedicated to to the positive development and accelerated recovery of girls and women who have experienced abuse and depression, Ashes To Beauty strives to empower women to take their lives back by providing life skill education, one-on-one mentorship and impactful personal tools by which these impacted women can build the foundation for a successful future. Look forward to having you read my blog, ๐“ž๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฟ๐“ฒ๐“ช ๐“‘. ๐“ข๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“น๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ป๐“ญ ๐Ÿ’‹

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