When Being Tired All the Time Becomes Your Weekend Ritual!

Well it’s about 4 o’clock my time and I just got out of bed to walk the dog in the hot heat.  I did manage to run some errands this morning to pick up gifts for my dad and hubby. That’s pretty much it, been in the bed since then. I’m tired, exhausted, and my body is aching. I look like a mess, my eyes are red from yawning all day. Sleep seems to take over me during the day, then at night I’m wide awake with my thoughts. I wake up feeling like a zombie, because I’m forcing myself to get things done. I feel hopeless, it’s very overwhelming sometimes. I take a look all over social media and see everyone enjoying many activities, while I’m stuck in the house. Blinds are closed, room is dark, and I’m under my covers like it’s 40 degrees outside. I have so much I need to get done, but I can’t! My tiredness has taken over my body, just cooking breakfast this morning seemed like a gym workout. I know it’s hard from some of you to understand, I hear things like, “go to the gym”, or “everybody is tired, push through it”. The truth is I can’t, physically can’t. My feet hurt while I’m wearing bedroom slippers, walking up and down my stairs is a damn task. I feel like a 600lb woman, locked up in my room, to the point where my son is like “get up and get it yourself”! Hubby will come home in a couple of hours, and I’m in the same clothes I had on before he left. He will think I stayed in bed all day accomplishing nothing. Truth is I actually got out today, but was so exhausted from that so I laid back down. I know I must sound like a broken record, but I don’t know what else to say. I don’t wish this life on anyone at all. Everyday it’s a constant struggle and I’m exhausted from trying. This feeling of tiredness haunts you. I pretend to be up looking productive, but then my brain is talking out loud, “like go to bed”. I’m not going to bed because I’m lazy, believe me I was never like this before. As father’s day approaches, I feel hatred for my dad. I feel like if it wasn’t for his stroke in 2014 I would be fine. Being his caretaker was hard for me, and I don’t see any reward for helping him. I mean I did out it of the goodness of my heart, but at what price? I now have no life at all. I’m honestly that tired, I can barely continue typing now, because my eyes are heavy. I know it will get better someday, until then I just have to deal…..chat soon!!!

Ms. Fran (exhausted diva)

Published by Olivia B. Shepherd

Welcome, My name is Olivia Shepherd, and I am the founder of this awesome blog about depression and mental illness. I started this blog in 2016 after being diagnosed with Major Depression, Anxiety and PTSD. I didn't have anybody to talk too or share my feelings with, so I decided to share them publicly to help others. I'm passionate and dedicated to bringing awareness about mental health, especially in the African American community. I also want to empower your voice to speak up and fight the stigma surrounding this illness. I’m also the founder of AshesToBeauty Mentoring & Outreach, a virtual online service dedicated to to the positive development and accelerated recovery of girls and women who have experienced abuse and depression, Ashes To Beauty strives to empower women to take their lives back by providing life skill education, one-on-one mentorship and impactful personal tools by which these impacted women can build the foundation for a successful future. Look forward to having you read my blog, 𝓞𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓪 𝓑. 𝓢𝓱𝓮𝓹𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓭 💋

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