Just One of Those Days!

Well it’s Thursday afternoon and I have had at least 2 good cries today, once this morning and at the docs. Woke up feeling really achy, just wanted to run back to bed. Yesterday was pretty good, and yeah mom’s birthday dinner was great. She really enjoyed herself and we had no interruptions. It was a really good day for her. So I manage to get out of bed to do a house today, but then I had a panic attack for no reason at all. Then the tears came out of nowhere, just couldn’t stop crying today. My body is in so much pain, I couldn’t even lift my vacuum. I’m trying to take it one day at a time, but I’m tired of that. Talking with the therapist today made me feel a little better. She is trying to come up with the best treatment for me. I explain to her how hard it is to live in this body, I wish it was like a cold that just goes away in a week. I’m just exhausted from doing nothing, which also exhaust me. I’m tired of feeling like this. Tired of having so much ambitious in my brain, but body is stuck in turtle mode. I wake up in the morning, dragging myself out of bed, forcing myself to do something. I’m just trying to survive now. I’m tired of thinking the next day will be different, but going to bed knowing nothing changed. It’s like being on a roller coaster that gets stuck mid-air. I’m beginning to feel numb again, like why should I get up? Get up to struggle through day again and again. I’m just so tired of being tired. Tired of fighting, tired of not answering my phone, tired of isolating myself. Yet, I don’t want to do anything and I barely want to see anybody. As the time ticks down for the baby and the court case, I find myself rocking uncontrollably and biting my nails and lips. It’s been one of those days and you would think I should be use to it by now. Oh well all I can do is hope tomorrow will be better. Chat soon…..

Ms. Fran

Published by Olivia B. Shepherd

Welcome, My name is Olivia Shepherd, and I am the founder of this awesome blog about depression and mental illness. I started this blog in 2016 after being diagnosed with Major Depression, Anxiety and PTSD. I didn't have anybody to talk too or share my feelings with, so I decided to share them publicly to help others. I'm passionate and dedicated to bringing awareness about mental health, especially in the African American community. I also want to empower your voice to speak up and fight the stigma surrounding this illness. I’m also the founder of AshesToBeauty Mentoring & Outreach, a virtual online service dedicated to to the positive development and accelerated recovery of girls and women who have experienced abuse and depression, Ashes To Beauty strives to empower women to take their lives back by providing life skill education, one-on-one mentorship and impactful personal tools by which these impacted women can build the foundation for a successful future. Look forward to having you read my blog, 𝓞𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓪 𝓑. 𝓢𝓱𝓮𝓹𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓭 💋

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