I Just Don’t Know!

Well what a difference a day makes, of course you all have read me saying that before. But it’s so true, yesterday was such a great day. My friends wedding day, a chance to get all dressed up and celebrate her. That’s exactly what I did, and my crazy brain stay away. She looked absolutely gorgeous and the groom wore a kilt (he’s Scottish)! When I tell you I was so obsessed with the kilts and tried to find out what was underneath ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚The wedding was just amazing and I had a lovely time. Came home a tad bit early, because I’m still exhausted from the Texas trip and wanted to just get in my bed. Slept pretty well all the way through church this morning, the pup didn’t even get me up! Smh! So my son and I got up and decided we would do some baby registries! Omg what fun I had with him pointing that little gun at all the baby things. They have so many new things out, I was overwhelmed by just love!!! I can’t wait to hold that little munchkin in my arms. But then reality sinks in, and we have to prepare ourselves for the day of sentencing. Will they send my son to jail? I can see how much it’s starting to weigh on him, he’s asking questions and I can’t help him. I can’t help my son out of this, I absolutely don’t know what the hell to do. Once again I’m just stuck, and it’s sad to say that the shots of liquor are becoming more frequent. If it isn’t food, it’s the drinking. One shot turns into the bottle, then I’m feeling sick and guilty the next day. One day I’m up, the next I’m down! I’m biting my nails and lips more often, my body feels like a truck hit me. I promise I’m trying to venture into new things, but it only holds my attention for seconds!  Lord I’m just falling apart, again how much more can I take?  Everybody keeps telling me it’s going to be ok? I wish I could believe that! Chat soon….

Ms. Fran

Published by Olivia B. Shepherd

Welcome, My name is Olivia Shepherd, and I am the founder of this awesome blog about depression and mental illness. I started this blog in 2016 after being diagnosed with Major Depression, Anxiety and PTSD. I didn't have anybody to talk too or share my feelings with, so I decided to share them publicly to help others. I'm passionate and dedicated to bringing awareness about mental health, especially in the African American community. I also want to empower your voice to speak up and fight the stigma surrounding this illness. Iโ€™m also the founder of AshesToBeauty Mentoring & Outreach, a virtual online service dedicated to to the positive development and accelerated recovery of girls and women who have experienced abuse and depression, Ashes To Beauty strives to empower women to take their lives back by providing life skill education, one-on-one mentorship and impactful personal tools by which these impacted women can build the foundation for a successful future. Look forward to having you read my blog, ๐“ž๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฟ๐“ฒ๐“ช ๐“‘. ๐“ข๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“น๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ป๐“ญ ๐Ÿ’‹

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