Good evening good people, finally took some time to sit down at my desk to check emails and stuff. Physically my body is just so tired, I’m dragging through out the day and can barely keep my eyes open. Emotionally I’m no good either, just on this roller coaster ride of emotions. It’s finally Thursday and the week has been draining as usual, can’t keep my mind focus on work or life. My feet, back, head, shoulders and brain hurts. I’m just the walking dead, with no life left in me. I feel like my body is physically here, but mind is some where across the globe. It’s like I’m looking down on my life, like some out-of-body experience. To tell you the truth, I’m sick and tired of just surviving life. It feels like the months are moving fast, and nothing has made me want to get up in the morning to live another day. Now, I know why some people walk around in that Goth look! On the real I feel like wearing nothing but black everyday until my life gives me some reason to wear colors. Life shouldn’t be this hard, I can’t believe God just put me here just to barely survive. Trying to juggle life, work, being a mom and wife is pushing me closer and closer to the edge. I’m so busy trying to pretend that I’m fine for everyone, but that’s taking too much effort. The constant whirlwind of emotions, obligations and responsibilities makes me feel like I’m beyond busy. I’m in survival mode, going about my day with that fake smile knowing I’m living under tremendous stress. To you on the outside, I know I look more than capable of handling shit but it’s getting harder and harder. I have so much I need to get done, but can’t find the energy to go on. I really want to thrive, I really want to smile for change and actually mean it. Oh well I’m home now, maybe I’ll have a glass of wine, ok 2! Lol the bottle!! Chat soon…..
Ms. Fran
Olivia B. Shepherd 