Life Lessons

Happy Wednesday, what a great day so far! The weather has changed drastically, but at least it’s not cold. So I’m sitting at work and thinking like I usually do about my life. Last night for the first time in a long time, I didn’t sit in bed and criticize myself at least!! I’m my own worst critic, I always see the bad in me. I usually dwell on where I’m not at in life, and my failures. This then depresses me, sending me down a deep dark hole. I’m tired of feeling that way, tired of not giving myself a pat on the back for the things I do accomplish. I deserve to jump up and high five my damn self, but I don’t! So today after doing a little motivational reading to lift my spirits, I ran across the 7 Lovely Logics. And number 1, 2, and 6 are my favorites. 

1. I really need to make peace with my past, I spend most of my time thinking God is punishing me because if it. I’ve done some bad things, some foolish things, and just plain crazy things! But, haven’t we all? Why do I feel so guilty about it? I’ve grown a lot since then, but can’t seem to move on.

2. What you think of me matters a lot more lately than it use to! I use to do whatever the hell I felt and didn’t care what you thought. You were either with me or against me, now I’m nervous! Nervous, anxious, scared and bashful. Lol yes who would’ve thought? So many people close to me have cast their opinions on me, most of the time I just needed to hear I mattered! Not one soul, praised me, or complimented my accomplishments. Instead all I ever here is well you ‘use’ to do it! Yes I ‘use’ to, but I don’t anymore! It’s like the better I get, the more I feel guilty for moving on and growing up. 

6. Yes, I need to stop thinking so much! I over think everything, if I don’t have the answers I feel like a failure. My mind is a terrible place to be in. Left to my own thoughts,I only create doubt and worry! I over think so much that my big head hurts, I can’t even turn it off at night. Smh, it’s really a shame.

I believe I’m doing better, taking it one day at a time and realizing not everybody is perfect. I’m not a failure because I started late, I’m not a failure or a product of my past.  I’m a work in progress, and I’m going to take all the time I need to perfect my life. 

Ms. Fran 😊

Published by Olivia B. Shepherd

Welcome, My name is Olivia Shepherd, and I am the founder of this awesome blog about depression and mental illness. I started this blog in 2016 after being diagnosed with Major Depression, Anxiety and PTSD. I didn't have anybody to talk too or share my feelings with, so I decided to share them publicly to help others. I'm passionate and dedicated to bringing awareness about mental health, especially in the African American community. I also want to empower your voice to speak up and fight the stigma surrounding this illness. I’m also the founder of AshesToBeauty Mentoring & Outreach, a virtual online service dedicated to to the positive development and accelerated recovery of girls and women who have experienced abuse and depression, Ashes To Beauty strives to empower women to take their lives back by providing life skill education, one-on-one mentorship and impactful personal tools by which these impacted women can build the foundation for a successful future. Look forward to having you read my blog, 𝓞𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓪 𝓑. 𝓢𝓱𝓮𝓹𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓭 💋

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