So toady I finally got up out of the bed and made lunch for me and the hubby, yesterday went to doctors and they decided to up my meds and said I should think about some out-patient therapy. Yeah somebody else to tell my situation to who isn’t listening, oh well I made lunch today because I slept half the day and my hubby looks at me crazy. I mean how do you explain to someone who you’re not being lazy and you really wish you could get up! Does he remember the fabulous “Diva” he married? Does he remember how I worked several jobs, clean the house, and manage to raise a fine young son. I wasn’t always this way, my brain has completely taken over at this point and I hate it just as much as he does. I feel ashamed and embarrassed that I this Strong Black Woman can’t seem to “pull it together or “snap out of it”.! I pray about it day and night and sometimes wonder what I have done to have to suffer this way.? I’m strong or at least I use to be because that side of me has been lost to this illness. I would give all the clothes, shoes, and nice purses away to be normal again. Just to be able to get out of bed and enjoy the beautiful sun, but I can’t.
“PUTTING ON A FAKE SMILE SO YOU DON’T HAVE EXPLAIN WHY YOU’RE NOT HAPPY”
Olivia B. Shepherd 